wow, i haven't updated this thing in a very long time. sure, there's a lot of stuff that's been going on, but i just haven't had the time/energy/desire to write about it.

in fact, i'm starting to think that i've outgrown keeping a journal, which is dumb to think because no one outgrows such things. maybe it's more like the whole process has lost its appeal. i mean, i'm already living my life, why experience it all again through the written word? i don't know. i just don't have the need to do this any longer.

still, i'm alive.
and marginally happy.

idle brain

i hate this girl and i don't care if she knows. actually, i hope she does. she's, quite honestly, the only person i've ever hated and i hope the only person i ever will. i know i'm just giving her power by writing about her right now, but too bad. i hate her and that's that.

i know this isn't the most refined or mature post, but i just need to get it out.

ARGH!

i come home from a nice night of eating with my grandma and then going over to shannon and josh's to grill hot dogs on her apartment roof (despite eating with my gram...i had a hot dog. it's spring and impossible to turn down such things) and hang out one more time before i move. leesh and margaret were there too, and it was really nice. just the break i needed, considering how stressful this week has been (car broke, had to rent a car, got yelled at all day at field, had my hours at work cut and now i'm making absolutely no money, etc.).

but sadly, i had to come home because i have some things to move tomorrow and a shift at work to do.

and of course, i sit down and check my email and i'm told that people are talking to me on myspace and facebook. cool. i figured i'd send out a few replies and then go faceplant on my mattress.

NOPE.

someone hacked into my profiles (mind you, this happened to andy about a month ago) AND NOT ONLY CHANGED MY PROFILES AROUND, BUT ALSO CHANGED MY PASSWORDS SO I CAN'T GET IN TO SEE WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED.

i'm frustrated beyond belief and just want to cry. not because "oh my god! my myspace!" but because i don't understand why people do these kinds of things. it's just hateful and i don't know what i did.

it makes me really sad. and i don't exactly know what to do. i emailed both facebook and myspace telling them that i did not ask to change my password and that my profiles have been screwed up, so we'll see. i'm guessing they'll just tell me to start fresh. which sucks. oh well.

if you happen to be my friend on either of those sites, please ignore anything weird that "i" may have said (or may currently be saying) to you. i'm sorry for the disruption.

yawny kitaen.

i woke up this morning to dreary skies and a frigid apartment, yet the only word on my lips was "love."

aurora borealis

a few posts back i said that i wanted to go to graceland over my spring break.

well, there's been a change of plans.

i will be riding the megabus back out to chicago to spend a few days with josh. i'm supposed to be looking for summer internships while i'm there, but i'm starting to think i'd much rather stay here and get some school knocked out. plus, andy and i have been discussing cohabitation quite frequently and i rather think i am in love with the idea. i mean, my field placement for next year is most likely going to be in lake county (they actually pay interns out there) and, well, i am super in love with the guy. like, ridiculously. which i still find hilarious considering all summer i was so busy being intrigued by randy that i didn't fully realize the wonderful man standing right next to me. but hey, at least now i have right? he really is great.

whoa, love tangent. sorry.

so yeah, it makes sense for us to move in together. and it won't be all weird - he will still have dude-dates with adam and have the whole car club and whatnot and i'll, well, i'll be busy with school and work. i'll probably house-sit for my mom again and all of my friends are out here in the western suburbs, so we won't be attached at the hip. that's the last thing i want - if i wanted a conjoined twin, i would've prevented separation as a zygote.

but anyway, that will be the majority of my summer (i hope), so i figure now is a good time to go see josh. we talk a lot more now that he's not in ohio and he has said more than once that he's really lonely. he has friends, but that they're not the same as here - they're more like convenience friends than actual friends and that makes me sad. that's how the majority of my time in columbus was and i would never wish that on anyone EVER, so i'm going out to spend 4 days with him. it's going to be fun, especially since we will witness st. patrick's day and i guess that's a huge deal there - there's a massive parade and they dye the river green. i have a feeling we will have ample opportunities for hilarious pictures.

i'll put them up on here, don't worry.

save ferris.

i'm going to chicago on feb. 21-22 for a new bomb turks show and to (finally) experience the art museum.

i'm way more excited than the average bear about this.

i am in love.

just sharing.